
If freckles were lovely, and day was night, 
              And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie, 
                    Life would be delight,-- 
                    But things couldn't go right 
                    For in such a sad plight 
              I wouldn't be I.
              If earth was heaven and now was hence, 
              And past was present, and false was true, 
                    There might be some sense 
                    But I'd be in suspense 
                    For on such a pretense 
              You wouldn't be you.
              If fear was plucky, and globes were square, 
              And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee 
                    Things would seem fair,-- 
                    Yet they'd all despair, 
                    For if here was there 
              We wouldn't be we.